YAHOO!!!!!

We passed Parquet. We have been approved by yet another Haitian government agency. Our paperwork now goes to the court system so our adoption of Marcus can be approved.
Praise God. One dear friend was here when I got the call and she said "It seems like God brings you to the brink of despair every time." And then I get good news and hope is restored.

Church today had a profound impact on my current attitude towards our adoption journey. I have been struggling with apathy vascilating to deep despair. I go weeks without thinking about it then am forced to confront the reality of someone else tucking in my son night after night. Then the sorrow gets to be almost palpable.

I so want to feel God carrying me through this journey but realize it has been too painful to rehash it regularly in prayer with Him.

However three realities struck me during church this morning. It sure would be nice if I could make it through a church service without crying at some point :)

I will list them and allow you to interpret and enjoy them in your own way.

1. This is my fathers world

Why should my heart be sad

The Lord is king, let the heavens ring

God reigns, let the earth be glad

This is my fathers world

The battle is not done

Jesus who died shall be satisfied

And heaven and earth be one.

2. (Song) And all that borrows life from thee is ever in thy care

And everywhere that man can be, thou God art present there.

3. (Prayer) In the struggle and pain that is present in this day

Redeemer, may I feel the peace of your presence.

On a lighter note, Marcus is doing so well according to our updates. He looks so much happier and like he is actually enjoying the pictures. He is so precious. We eagerly anticipate the new pictures every month. I wonder what his voice sounds like, what makes him laugh, what is he thinking about? His facial expressions make we question all of this. Here is a taste.

My prayer shall be "Redeemer, may I feel the peace of your presence."

Our Children- The past week

Playing music with Mom

Holding onto that last piece of graham cracker.

Hanging with Papa.

Happy with food, must be a Deters
Checking it out. . .

The beauty of Haiti

Loving to sleep on laps.
Matea at the Detroit Zoo
Bri at the Tigers game.  A true fan

Wow, what a surreal experience. How do you put into words that past three days? We experienced the entire range of emotions over the past couple days. From surprise, to joy, to concern, to anxiety, to peace, to pride, to unrelenting relief.

Marcus is such a sweet little boy. Such a gentle nature, always preferring to cuddle up on my lap. He was so shy at first, then really warming up to us towards the end. He loves to play with blocks and watches EVERYTHING. He really became a mama's boy over the two days we were there. (That might have something to do with the fact that white men are very rare, thus terrifying to him at this point.)  We did get to meet with the US Embassy, so Marcus' US visa process is started.  Thanks for your many prayers re: this appointment.

While we very much enjoyed the time we had with him, it was a perfect amount. Any more, and it would have been very painful to leave. We know God has his hand on Marcus and will sustain both us and him until we can be together as a complete family of five. We felt his peace through this whole trip, and continue to rely on your prayers to sense His hand and presence.  

We continue pray for miracles and God's will for our lives.

Haiti - Here We Come!!

So in our whirlwind style, Steve and I are flying to Haiti on Tuesday to complete some paperwork and more importantly, to meet Marcus.  I can't believe it is really happening.  As most of you know we have put off this trip for a while because of the uncertainty of the situation.  However, our caseworker told us we really need to make this trip soon, and no time like the present.  While I was really apprehensive about making this trip, now that it is booked, I am really excited.  I can't believe that in less than a week, I will have met Marcus.  Pray for us, it will be a short trip.  We leave on Tuesday and come back on Thursday.  YIKES.

Praise God

It appears we finally have gotten our break. . . We just received word that we are out of IBESR. And without a presidential dispensation. I can't believe it has finally happened, we are moving once again. We have quite a ways to go yet but at least we are making progress. Won't you join us in a prayer of praise?

Now we just have to keep going so Bri and Tea' can put a smile on this little face.

Okay, so as I am sure you have figured, absolutely nothing happened at the meeting on Wednesday. No progress has been made about the slow movement of adoptions from Haiti. While we continue to hope, my hope is much more guarded.
I had a rough couple of days on Sunday and Monday since Monday was Marcus' second birthday. We initially thought he would be home by now so that hit me pretty hard. Thanks to all who were praying for me, I did pull myself together eventually.
My primary response to all the adoption struggles thus far has been anger. (For those of you who know me, big surprise, righteous anger is always my first response.) However, this time it was just pure, unadulterated despair. It hit me for the first time that this child is ours and he is growing up without us. I was sad, not mad, or trying to fix it, just sad. Steve pointed out that this was a positive since he has always been attached to Marcus, posting pictures, etc. While I have kept myself more distant. I replied by saying it is so much easier when you don't feel anything and I was doing so good for so long at not feeling.
My dear friend suggested that I start a fast for a while to focus on God through this whole process and redirect my thoughts on Him. So stay posted, I may ask you all to join me.
On a lighter note, we have had a bad smell in our home for the past 3-4 days. I wasn't sure if it was sewer or a dead animal in the walls or what. The most frustrating thing was that the smell moved. Today I went on a smell hunt and found the culprit. Two once-beautifully-decorated hard-boiled eggs in a backpack. Mushy and dripping and foul as all get out. Apparently my resident packrat Matea, thought a backpack was a great place for keeping old eggs. However, the backpacks mobility did explain the roving smell. Oh, the joys of motherhood. Maybe God hasn't brought Marcus home because I can't control the two I already have. :)
Joy and Peace to you all on this beautiful summer day.
Crystal

We are asking for prayers this week as the following was posted on the orphanages website. We are asking you all to pray for a miracle, that God will throw open these closed doors.

"News this last week has been that on April 15 there will be a meeting between IBESR and Parquet about the issue of dispensations. We were told that hopefully the decision will be made to go ahead and sign all dossiers up through December 2008 without having to have the dispensations! I will post what we hear after the meeting.
I also heard this week that a special "investigator" for the prime minister's office is looking into the problems with adoptions. This investigator has interviewed the president of the association of orphanages. We will just have to wait and see if this helps make a difference in the speed of adoptions.
It is impossible for me to believe that going from 3 months for an adoption to finish in 2001 to 18 to 20 months for an adoption in 2008/2009 is better for the children! UNICEF has stated at meetings that it needs to be longer to make sure everything is done legally. What does the length of time have to do with doing it right? "

Marcus continues to do well. The good news is that he is now walking. I only wish we had been able to be a part of this milestone. I remember when Steve and I were discussing the merits of adopting a toddler vs. an infant. I agreed to go older,"as long as I got to see his first steps." My how things can change in a couple years. For the last two months I have been praying for Marcus to take those steps without me.

I am peaceful knowing ultimately Marcus is God's child and he will be entrusted to my care when the timing is right. Just like Bri and Tea'. God is ultimately their father and creator, and he picked just the right time to place them in our home.

Thank you all for your encouragement and support over the past couple weeks. Sometimes I wonder how much the girls are processing this whole adoption thing. Today while driving to a meeting at Bethany, Matea had a precious moment. She said "Mom, you are going to meet with Belinda, right?" I said yes, and she said " Can you say 'Please, can Marcus come home with us.'" Like maybe if you asked in just the right way, they would let him come home. I started crying and said "Sure Matea, I will ask." It is amazing how the small things can set off a cascade of thoughts.
How old will he be when we meet him? Will he be excited to come home or just scared? How will the girls adjust to the reality of another child in the house? How will Marcus interact with his sisters? Will he mind them in his personal space all the time? How will Steve and I parent a boy? Is it different than a girl? And that is when I just start praying for wisdom and patience. Grace and Peace to you all

Habakkuk 2:3----"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."

What a good reminder of what we already know.

After almost seven months of waiting, we finally have made it into the Haitian court system. We have an official number and everything. Thank you all for your prayers and support. This has been an unbelievable time of waiting, frustration and sadness. But I am happy to report that we have hope once again that Marcus will join our family.

"Seriously, a Santa hat? My mom is not going to like this . . ."

So the big question then becomes: "What does that mean? How long are we looking at?" What this means is that now we can begin to move his paperwork through the various courts that need to approve his adoption in Haiti. We now are in the 9-18 month waiting period. While that may seem like a long time to most of you, the joy we feel at being able to say we are in the process of moving forward is unbelievable. It far outweighs the time frame. We can continue to pray that somehow our paperwork just sails through the system. As LaDawn, an incredible woman from Bethany said "You guys just might be due a miracle."

I will close with a line from my very wise Uncle Norm:

God is Good, All the Time. All the Time, God is Good

"Come on, just a little hug"